Kelly had always known that in order to be a great leader, first you must become a great follower. She wholeheartedly believed this to be true. Again, her strong will was to always be simply great at something, or if she was lucky, great at a few things. However, she was inextricably trapped in her own hell within her inner self and both consciousnesses were warring for their very existence from all the demons she had subscribed to over the years. The only two phone numbers she committed to memory back then was her own cell number and that of the suicide hotline. She never called the hotline however, what a tragedy, she surely knew their number.
Kelly felt despair and guilt about everything. She believed that she was wasting her life on the way to nowhere quickly. She consistently watched her life spiral deeper and more profoundly into hell and at the time there was nothing Kelly could do about it but go along for the ride.