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Cyberbullying:  How to Stop, Prevent, and Help the Situation
by Whitney Derman

Bullying has been an issue throughout human history, but with the rise of social media platforms, a relatively new form of bullying has emerged—cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is much different than face-to-face bullying because it can be done anonymously. Abused people often have no way to confront their bully, and abusers often have no way to see the effect of their bullying. It’s also much harder to get away from than in-person bullying.

What Makes Cyberbullying such a problem?
Anonymous bullying means two things: first, bullies have a sense of invincibility because they believe they’ll never get caught via confrontation, their parents, teachers, friends, etc. (Berlik Law, 2021). Second, it gives people who may not traditionally be bullies, shy people, and those afraid of confrontation, an easy way to do it. Anonymous bullying expands the network of bullies from just people you don’t get along with to random classmates, people you have never spoken to, and even friends. A few decades ago, bullies were stronger, bigger, and more popular; today, none of those things matter.

A recent study found that individuals do not bully to be mean and often do not realize what they’re saying is harmful (Konnikova et al., 2015). The results show that comments were made to help people- such as pointing out something weird to correct it (Konnikova et al., 2015). However, they often fail to realize their words can do much more harm than good. This is especially true for children and teens. They are not likely to notice a personal flaw, but they will get sad if their peers are mean to them, or if they perceive them as being mean. This can be misinterpreted even further online because you can’t read the tone of voice through text. Even if someone is joking around or just slightly annoyed, it is often interpreted as much angrier and meaner than intended.

The Rise of Cyberbullying
Although kids have been using social media for over a decade, COVID-19 saw a significant increase in cyberbullying. Due to the lockdown, classes were online, and since many kids couldn’t see their friends in person, the internet was often their only connection to their friends and the world (Gordon, 2020). Due to this, kids have been avoiding telling their parents when they are bullied online, afraid they will take away internet privileges. As a result, children and teens have lacked a proper support system for cyberbullying (Gordon, 2020).  The lockdown has also had the added effect of making everyone more on edge, because people were separated from friends and family, and many people couldn’t work or lost their jobs. Kids often took out their stress on other kids, knowingly or not (Gordon, 2020).

Stopping Cyberbullying
A common retort to cyber-bullying is, “it’s not real, just turn off your computer.” However, this is easier said than done and false. When people go on social media to relax or message friends, they are often greeted with mean notifications. Whether it’s a chat or on a social media thread, they are mixed with friendly messages, and it often shows up whether you’re expecting it to or not.  During the pandemic, people couldn’t even avoid social media during work or school hours, because those didn’t exist for many people. Sure, there were still classes, but teachers cannot regulate what students do during zoom class as well as they could in an in-person classroom. Cyberbullying is also much more invasive than in-person bullying because you can’t just walk away and end the fight or stop the comments (Konnikova et al., 2015). Bullying can persist anywhere and anytime, no matter where you are or who you’re with (Konnikova et al., 2015). Unlike spoken words that may be forgotten, comments made on social media can last forever. This means that even if a person is not online at the time, they’re still going to get hateful comments. This also creates a disconnect because the bully may have forgotten about the situation by the time the victim even sees the message or comment. This can also be distracting because it is difficult to stay focused when you’re constantly worried about getting hateful messages.

To stop cyberbullying, it is important to be mindful of what you say online. Think about how the person reading it may interpret it. Also, consider that everyone is going through something, and it may affect some people more. A study published this year in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry confirms that cyberbullying amplified symptoms of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder in young people (Velasquez, 2020). There also may be a child or someone unable to tell the difference between trolling and actual mean-spirited bullying.  It is also important to remember on the other side not to let hateful comments get to you. The person could be taking out their stress and anger on you, but it is not a reflection of you. If you’re worried about your child getting cyberbullied or being a cyberbully, encourage them to take breaks from their phone or computer. Talk to them about how to communicate online and let them know that they can come to you about anything. Having a strong support system where your children feel like they can talk to you can help so much. However, if the hate is persistent from one person, you suspect stalking, and blocking does not work, you should contact your principal or your local police as this indicates a serious problem.

Learn more about overcoming abuse at GoARO.org and please consider donating to support our efforts. 

Resources

“CyberBullying and online harassment.” Berlik Law. (2021). https://www.berliklaw.com/cyberbullying-and-online-harassment.html.
Gordon, S. “Beware parents and educators: cyberbullying increasing during pandemic.” Verywell Family. (August 2, 2020). https://www.verywellfamily.com/cyberbullying-increasing-during-global-pandemic-4845901.
Konnikova, M., Sorkin, A. D., & Kurzweil, A. “How the internet has changed bullying.” The New Yorker. (October 21, 2015). https://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/how-the-internet-has-changed-bullying.
Velasquez , M. “Cyberbullying is on the rise During COVID-19 pandemic.” msn.com. (November 20, 2020). https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/cyberbullying-is-on-the-rise-during-covid-19-pandemic/ar-BB1bd9kZ.

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