Narcissism in Pop Culture:
The Good Place is a popular fantasy-comedy television series that is about a group of people that go to heaven (or the Good Place) only to find it is not what it seems. Some of the main premises behind the show surround moral philosophy, friendship, love, and character development. The Good Place also depicts various types of abuse, including Narcissistic and Child Abuse. Tahani Al-Jamil’s character will be explored in-depth to present the complexities of these types of abuse.
Tahani Al-Jamil was brought up in a narcissistic household with her parents constantly pitting her against her sister, Kamilah, in order to win their love and affection. Kamilah is considered the golden child, while Tahani is pushed to the side and needs to continually prove herself (Schur & Sackett, 2016; NBC 2016).
A common trait of narcissism involves an individual wanting to be surrounded by those they deem better than themselves. Within the series, this was introduced when Tahani’s socialite parents latched on to Kamilah who is a famous singer, and ignored Tahani (Miller, 2021). The dual treatment has lasting negative effects on both girls and completely ruins their relationship. Kamilah feels her sister is jealous of her success and wants her to fail, while Tahani is sick of constantly living in Kamilah’s shadow (Schur & Sackett, 2016; NBC 2016).
Despite being the black sheep of the family, Tahani’s character exhibits her own narcissistic tendencies, such as constantly gloating and name-dropping about the celebrities she knows. She is described as being very affluent and donates exorbitant sums of money to charities and nonprofits — but not for the generosity of helping others but the recognition (Schur & McCarthy-Miller, 2016; NBC, 2016). Tahani is obsessed with people’s perception of her and is desperate to get out of her sister’s shadow, to finally win her parents’ love, and gain the love of everyone around her.
In season 3, the characters are brought to an alternate reality where they never died and Tahani’s near-death experience encourages her to live a selfless life, and she goes to practice Buddhism at a monastery for a year (Schur & Holland, 2018; NBC 2016). When the press eventually finds her, she re-enters society and immediately publishes a book called “Get Out of the Spotlight” and hosts a press event, complete with a full gala celebration (Schur & Holland, 2018; NBC 2016). Unfortunately, Tahani did not learn from her experience, and her selfish desires re-emerge — she ironically preaches about getting out of the spotlight after stepping back into the spotlight.
As the series progresses, Tahani accidentally overhears that she will be going to the Bad Place when she dies again (Schur & Holland, 2018; NBC 2016). This motivated Tahani to grow beyond her current narcissistic tendencies and victim mentality and visit her sister and show her empathy for the first time in her life. Despite a lifetime of hating each other, Tahani realizes her sister is not the issue, their forced rivalry was, and they make amends (Schur & Holland, 2018; NBC 2016).
This scene shows Tahani realizing the root issue, whereas before, she assumed the problem was her sister outshining her. Once she realizes that all of her narcissistic tendencies and her poor relationship with her sister stemmed from their parents’ need to force a constant sibling rivalry, she was able to start genuinely being good. Her motivations no longer come from a place of needing recognition or outshining her sister. So, how does this relate to what we do at ARO?
Norm Therapy™, a revolutionary trademarked program created by ARO’s Co-Founder, Michael Gibson, is compared to a pre-therapy to therapy. Norm Therapy™ is intended to help you find your truth, the root causes of your issues, and help you discover who you were meant to be or, as Michael Gibson likes to call it, “Finding your normal.”
After a lifetime (and a considerable amount of her death) hosting parties to flaunt her wealth and prove herself, she eventually realizes her true calling is to use all of her hosting and design skills to make the afterlife better. Tahani eventually realizes her true calling is to become an “afterlife architect” (Schur, 2020; NBC 2016).
Kelly Dehn, the Global Executive Director and Co-Founder of ARO, was the first person to undergo what we now refer to as Norm Therapy™ and realized after working through her traumas that her life calling was to help others like herself who have been Victims or Survivors of abuse. Together, Michael Gibson and Kelly Dehn built ARO out of Kelly’s first-hand experience of going through Norm Therapy™ which just happened to save her life.
Finding who you truly are and who you’re meant to be can be difficult when you are being shaped by your trauma, but Norm Therapy™ can help people find that hope to move forward into greater clarity and truth of who they can be.
To support the work we do, please donate at GoARO.org.
References
Miller, K. (2021, August 9). Avoid all 6 types of narcissists-but mental-health pros say one type is especially damaging. Well+Good. https://www.wellandgood.com/types-of-narcissists/
Schur, M. (Writer & Director). (2020, January 30). Whenever You’re Ready. (Season 4, Episode 13) [TV Series Episode]. In M. Schur, D. Miner, M. Sackett, D. Goddard (Executive Producers), The Good Place. NBC.
Schur, M., Muharrar, A. (Writers), & McCarthy-Miller, B. (Director). (2016, September 22). Tahani Al-Jamil.(Season 1, Episode 3) [TV Series Episode]. In M. Schur, D. Miner, M. Sackett, D. Goddard (Executive Producers), The Good Place. NBC.
Schur, M., Murray, M. (Writers), & Sackett, M. (Director). (2016, October 6). Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis. (Season 1, Episode 5) [TV Series Episode]. In M. Schur, D. Miner, M. Sackett, D. Goddard (Executive Producers), The Good Place. NBC.
Schur, M.(Writer), & Sackett, M. (Director). (2017, October 5). Team Cockroach. (Season 2, Episode 3) [TV Series Episode]. In M. Schur, D. Miner, M. Sackett, D. Goddard (Executive Producers), The Good Place. NBC.
Schur, M., Statsky, J. (Writers), & D. Holland (Director). (2018, September 27). Everything is Bonzer! (Season 3, Episode 1) [TV Series Episode]. In M. Schur, D. Miner, M. Sackett, D. Goddard (Executive Producers), The Good Place. NBC.
