There are many misconceptions and false beliefs that surround the discussion of sexual violence. These myths that circulate the public understanding are stereotypes that only harm victims and create a hostile environment for said victims.

Most often, these ‘rape myths’ are used to cause victims harm, keep them quiet about the assault they’ve survived, or put the entirety of the blame upon the victims’ actions that supposedly led to them being assaulted. Here are some common myths about sexual violence, along with the truths behind these beliefs:

Myth: The way a victim was dressed or their levels of intoxication are inclinations that they deserved or were ‘asking for’ the assault.
Fact: There is nothing a victim can inherently do or way they can act that incites violence against them. The attacker uses these actions as an abuse of power and control over their victim. What someone wears or how drunk they get are never excuses for why they are attacked. This also applies to where a victim is going. If they are walking alone at night or go to the attacker’s home after a night of partying; it is still never the victim’s fault for being abused. None of these instances are invitations for non-consensual sexual activity.

Myth: The only way to tell if someone is telling the truth about being sexually assaulted is if they act hysterically.
Fact: If someone else’s emotional state does not reflect how you think a victim should act, that does not mean they are lying about their assault. Often, our brains will have many different emotional responses, including but not limited to calmness, crying, numbness, anger, denial, or self-loathing. The emotional spectrum of possible responses to any traumatic event is not predictable, and the absence of crying and hysteria does not mean someone is not responding to a sexual assault.

Myth: If someone doesn’t say ‘no,’ then it is the same as them giving consent.
Fact: Affirmative consent is the key term here. If you or your partner are going to begin a sexual activity and there is an absence of an explicit ‘yes,’ then there has not been consent. The absence of a ‘no’ does not mean you have permission to begin a sexual act with a partner.

Myth: If someone gives consent, then they are not allowed to change their mind.
Fact: Even if you receive or give affirmative consent, if you change your mind at any point, then that act is no longer a consensual sexual activity.

Myth: A person cannot be assaulted by a spouse or romantic partner.
Fact: The World Health Organization estimates that nearly 30% of women worldwide experience sexual assault with an intimate partner. Whether the two individuals are married, dating, or in an intimate relationships does not permit you to engage in sexual activities without consent.

Myth: People lie about sexual assault because it is a trend.
Fact: With the surge of recognition of the Me Too Movement in our current culture, there has been a rise in claims about people lying about their assault. However, the movement has not inclined others to lie, but to find the strength in being open about the assaults that traumatized them. Rape culture has always been one of silence, where people feel too unsafe and afraid of backlash to ever come forward.

Myth: Only young women can be victims of rape.
Fact: Anyone can be a victim of rape and sexual assault: women, men, gender non-conforming people, young people, older people, and people with disabilities. By stereotyping who is considered “typical” for an assault victim, we harm the many people struggling to talk about their trauma.

Myth: Sexual violence, rape, and assault are just natural ways of life, and there is nothing we can do to prevent these acts from happening
Fact: There are many ways to prevent acts such as these. Intervention as a bystander witnessing behavior like this and holding the abuser accountable are some of the most important methods. Beyond that, work must take place in tearing down rape myths. No longer can we allow public opinions to tear down and belittle victims of assault.

To learn more about sexual violence and other forms of abuse, visit GoARO.org, and please consider donating to help us provide resources for the abused.