How Toxic Stress Can Lead To Abuse In Relationships: The Hidden Consequences
BY: amanda hildreth
Stress is something we all experience at some point in our lives. Short-term stress can even be beneficial. It can enhance your mental or physical performance or act as a protection mechanism (Stanford Medicine News Center, 2012). However, when stress becomes chronic, it can have a detrimental effect on our health and relationships. The psychological effects of chronic stress can lead to outbursts of anger and an increased risk of violence (Crisis House, 2024).
What Is Toxic Stress?
Toxic stress is a type of stress that occurs when the body experiences an excessive or prolonged stress response. Toxic stress can impact healthy brain development, as well as other bodily systems, especially when experienced in childhood. Toxic stress especially affects areas of the brain that control language, decision-making, and attention span, and can impact well-being across an individual’s entire lifespan (Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, 2025).
What Can Cause Toxic Stress?
While stress is experienced differently by each individual, several common factors can cause toxic stress when experienced for prolonged periods. These include (Calm, 2024):
- Chronic workplace conditions such as long hours, high demands, or job insecurity
- Ongoing financial strain, such as living with debt, living paycheck to paycheck, or experiencing financial uncertainty
- Long-term relationship issues, including family conflicts or marital issues
- Experiencing chronic health issues without the proper support or resources
- Caregiving responsibilities include caring for children with special needs, sick family members, or aging parents
- Traumatic experiences that are ongoing or have happened in the past, such as neglect, abuse, or exposure to violence
- Feelings of isolation and a lack of a support system
- Trauma, unresolved grief, or emotional conflict
Any of the above factors can lead to a harmful state of toxic stress, which can affect an individual’s ability to cope and potentially lead to abuse or violence.
What Are The Symptoms Of Toxic Stress?
Toxic stress can affect both the body and mind, and the symptoms can vary; however, some common symptoms of toxic stress are (Calm, 2024):
- Chronic pain and headaches
- Exhaustion or fatigue
- A sense of hopelessness or helplessness
- Loss of motivation or interest in activities
- Issues with digestion
- Sleep disruptions
- Muscle tension
- Mood swings or irritability
- Constant worry or anxiety
- Depression
- Cognitive issues such as trouble concentrating, memory issues, or trouble making decisions
- Changes in appetite or weight
While these symptoms are related to toxic stress, they may occur due to other conditions, and it is crucial to see a medical professional to obtain a conclusive diagnosis.
How Toxic Stress Leads to Abuse
In a study performed by the American Psychological Association (APA), male rats were studied to determine whether stimulating aggression in the brain would raise stress hormones and whether the stress hormone would lead to aggression. The results showed that raising levels of stress raised levels of aggression and vice versa, which explains why stress can lead to violence and aggression, and creates a vicious cycle of one factor impacting the other (Kruk, 2004).
This cycle explains why aggressive or violent behavior escalates easily, and it is difficult to stop once it has started. The study suggests that even when stress hormones rise for reasons not related to conflict, they may lower thresholds enough to create violent behavior (Kruk, 2004).
The findings of this study can also explain why people who are not typically violent may become violent in certain settings or under circumstances that are previously associated with aggression. When stress hormone levels rise, it triggers the onset of violence and aggression even in seemingly benign settings (Kruk, 2004).
In times of increased stress, the risk of Domestic Violence escalates and can worsen an already traumatic environment by intensifying feelings of isolation, helplessness, and fear. In these situations, stress relief becomes a lifeline for Survivors seeking to regain autonomy and a sense of control (DAVSS, 2025).
How To Prevent Toxic Stress
Treating and relieving toxic stress may involve lifestyle changes, self-care, and in certain situations, professional help. These strategies can help you alleviate stress and improve overall well-being (Calm, 2024).
- Tune into your body’s stress signals: Notice how stress shows up physically, like a tight jaw, shallow breaths, or a racing heart. Recognizing these signs early helps you manage stress as it happens.
- When overwhelmed, focus on what you can control: This can include setting boundaries and finding time for hobbies you enjoy.
- Create a sleep routine: This can include a set bedtime, creating a bedtime ritual, and creating a comfortable sleeping environment.
- Reduce stress levels with physical activity: Being active can actively prevent stress, including walking, yoga, or stretching.
- Relaxation techniques: Add relaxation techniques to your daily routine, such as meditation, breathing exercises, and muscle relaxation.
- Reach out for professional support: Consider seeking help from a mental health professional for therapy to manage your stress.
- Reach out to friends and family: Leaning on friends and family can provide the emotional support needed to handle toxic stress.
- Enhance time management skills: Prioritizing tasks and setting realistic goals in both your personal and professional life can help reduce stress.
Using these and other techniques, the effects of toxic stress can be mitigated or even reversed. The key to addressing toxic stress is recognizing the signs and taking steps to address it. It is crucial to remember that the recovery from toxic stress is a process that requires regular effort and support (Calm, 2024).
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Sources
Stanford Medicine News Center. (2012, December 21). “Good stress, bad stress.” Stanford Medicine News Center. https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2012/12/good-stress-bad-stress.html
The effects of stress and its ties to domestic violence. Crisis House. (2024, July 10). https://crisishouse.org/blog/the-effects-of-stress-and-its-ties-to-domestic-violence/#:~:text=These%20feelings%20can%20affect%20our,the%20risk%20of%20violent%20behavior.
Toxic stress: What is toxic stress?. Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2025, March 13). https://developingchild.harvard.edu/key-concept/toxic-stress/
Calm. (2024, February 9). What is toxic stress? signs, symptoms & HOW TO TREAT IT. Calm Blog. https://www.calm.com/blog/toxic-stress
Kruk, M. (2004). Stress and Aggression Reinforce Each Other at the Biological Level, Creating a Vicious Cycle. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2004/10/feedback-cycle
Stress awareness month 2024: Understanding the impact of stress on domestic abuse. DAVSS. (2025). https://www.davss.org.uk/understanding-the-impact-of-stress-on-domestic-abuse/
